Holding the Center

 

Turning and turning in the widening gyre

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

                                    William Butler Yeats

 

            When people asked me how I was doing during my last week at church, I usually answered, "I feel like I am in a whirlpool."  Emotions were strong within me and around me.  How is it possible to say goodbye to those I have prayed for, loved and served for years?  My heart was breaking and I had no control over the increasingly fast moving pace.  Where had my strong sense of peace and centeredness gone?

All was focused on the final Sunday.  That day came and was too quickly gone, like a wedding.  It was suddenly and too quickly over after months of anticipation and planning.  In the memory of the day's glowing warmth I feel the love flowing,  I hear the laughter and I look at the generous gifts so thoughtfully and carefully created just to please and delight me.  It is grace, undeserved yet given to me.  Receiving gifts of grace in such a time as that I simply cannot take in.  I need some space.

I need to find and touch my center.  I know I need to look in a different direction, to use my peripheral vision.  In order to absorb this time of intense love, I need space.  It is like seeing a star more clearly and brightly by looking at it out of the corner of our eye than by looking directly at it.  So we are heading out on a road trip on to the open highway where distance can sharpen my inner vision.  Time and space away from the busy distractions at home will quiet me gently allowing me to return to my center. 

How grateful I am that I know my center is with God and that my compass and loadstone is Christ Jesus.  I trust this center does hold no matter what happens in my life.  I know in this time of change, all is well.  Indeed, there is nothing else it can be when my center is eternal.