Holding it All

I have been enjoying contemplatively the wonders outside my window. When one has something spectacular there all the time, it is easy to begin to take it for granted. We have an amazingly beautiful view of San Francisco Bay yet there are many days I don’t even raise the shades. I watched the recent fire on Angel Island. It was eerily beautiful with the destructive red orange tongues crowning the island against the dark night sky. And then at dawn the next morning, the full moon set over Mount Tamalpais, its light reflected on the Bay like a long golden road as the morning sky lightened and the sunrise’s pink glow dusted the hills.
Maybe it was the stark contrast from such beauty that hit me when I walked 7th Street on my weekly trip into the jail. I was sickened by the strong nauseating reek of urine on the dirty and trashy streets. It smelled worse than I could ever remembered. I found myself muttering about responsibility. What is happening to me, I wondered? I see no beauty here. As incarnated beings we are called into real life to love real life even people who carelessly cast their trash onto city streets, even the homeless who foul the city streets are also God’s creations.
Jesus tells us we are love all people. Nobody is outside the circle of God’s radical love! I find it is so much easier to love everyone, theoretically, like on a silent retreat where all my needs are met and I can ignore anyone who offends me than thinking about loving the people who so offend my senses.
What a challenge it is to hold both the beauty and the ugliness of life. Can we, I wonder, hold the beauty and ugliness even within ourselves? It’s hard. Maybe that is why we project blame, the badness out on to others. Are there ways in which we also contribute, perhaps with the unintended consequences of our actions, to trashing the planet I wish I had the answer (actually I don’t think there is an answer that applies to everyone all the time). What I do know is that self-awareness leads to understanding and that gratitude leads to praise. Real life is sometimes smelly and gritty but also radically beautiful. It is all God’s creation---the beautiful and the smelly. It is our job to live with awareness and careful intention and with hearts full of gratitude for everything.